My body definitely tells the story of having children. Bags under my eyes; dark circles that have caused a friend to ask if I’ve been injured in a fight; a pelvic floor that would definitely have benefited from a few more of those exercises – trampolining is a definite no-no these days.
The tired bones I put down to age, but the main item of my anatomy that frequently seems to leave the building is my brain. There was a time when I took it for granted. I used it to read, form words and speak in sentences of more than one syllable. I definitely used it to archive those special memories, and save to the desktop of my brain the routine tasks I needed to function properly.
There is a saying – baby brain – and I for one can vouch for its existence. I think the raging hormones combined with the overwhelming task ahead of you and never sleeping for more than four hours in one go, all contribute to the lack of brain activity.
Nowadays, I consider a conversation a success if I can get to the end of a sentence remembering the other person’s name and the words I need to perform a vocabulary exchange. Usually mine go something like this… “so when I was the, urmmm, the, err. You know… the chemist… and I was getting the kids some, urmmm what is it, the ummm nappies, then I went home and erm er….. ok. Bye”. It’s not exactly a Paxman interview but I still come off the phone sweating and rocking slightly in my chair.
In recent days I have a) forgotten to put on my daughter’s nappy, which led to a lovely day out with her dad in the park; and b) gone out with my clothes on inside out and back to front – I fear I got dressed in the dark or, more likely, with my eyes closed.
But despite a catalogue of minor errors, I have never left the kids in a shop or anywhere else unattended. My mantra is “toddler, baby, bag, buggy”, and it has served me well. Many years ago, my grandmother devised a similar protocol after a shopping trip. Having recited the, by now, familiar phrase, ”keys, bag, buggy, Robert…” she quickly grabbed her bag and locked the door before returning to the butchers, where she found the buggy and Robert.
Fortunately my dad remained none the wiser.
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